


I Don't Do, I Love you

by Sister_winchesters



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Cute Dean, Drunk Dean Winchester, F/M, Hurt, Hurt Dean Winchester, Some Fluff, injured reader
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-29
Updated: 2019-07-16
Packaged: 2020-02-09 13:10:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 8,637
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18638782
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sister_winchesters/pseuds/Sister_winchesters
Summary: Y/N has been with Dean for three years, she knows he's not one for saying I love you. But she never expected him to do what he does. Can he rekindle their relationship? Or is it done for..





	1. One

**Author's Note:**

> I do not own the Supernatural or the characters. But the writing is mine, please do not repost any of my stuff on any sites.

Y/N knew Dean didn't do I love you, he did his own thing.

 

Like telling Sam he was proud of them when Metatron had killed him. She knew she'd never get an I love you, and she was fine with it.

 

But the one thing she'd never thought she'd hear,

 

“We're Done.. get out” he had told her, she couldn't believe it, she didn't wanna believe it, but all she could do at that moment was nod, and walk away.

 

Locking herself in her room that night she decided to leave, leave Dean behind, leave Sam, Jack and Cas, she didn't want too, hell, she really didn't fucking want to but, she was going to, she couldn't be near Dean.

 

And she left, left them all behind and started a new life, one without the Winchesters, Jack and Castiel. 

 

**_5 years later_ **

 

Y/n was on a hunt, even though she said she'd never hunt again. It's been 5 years since she left. She left Sam a note, explaining to him what had happened, and why she wasn't gonna be found in her room the next morning.

 

Salt Lake City, Utah, was where she was hunting.

 

Five kids have gone missing, between the ages of 7 and 12, at first she had thought it was a changeling, but there are no signs as it is one, so she was currently at the library doing research, trying to find any lead as to what it could be. 

 

“Dammit Sammy, I don't really wanna join you in your nerd...” the voice she's been trying to forget for years, stops talking as their eyes meet.

 

She quickly packs her bag, shaking and muttering under her breath, dropping stuff, she groans until a large hand grabs her shoulder. 

 

“Y/n…” She turns, looking up at the tall hunter.

 

“Hi, Sam…  _ Dean _ ” she says growls  _ his _ name, she continues packing her bag, then walks out, Dean just watching her leave.

 

“You're a fucking idiot,” Sam tells his brother, watching him as he watches her, “you left her, all because you couldn't say those three words,” he says.

 

Dean ignores his brother, watching Y/n walk away for the second time, “shut up Sam” he says, before storms away, the thing Sam doesn't know, is Dean wanted to say it, he wanted to tell her how he felt, but he couldn't bring himself to it, he couldn't tell her, so he did the one thing he knew he could, push her away.

 

Y/n mutters, getting to her car, “dick.. asshole, motherfucker” she kicks her tire, shaking her head she leans her head back, blinking the tears away. 

 

Dean watches from the distance, chewing his lip, they had been together for 3 years when he told her to leave, maybe it's for the best.

  
  


That night, Y/n is sitting at a bar, smiling gently at the bartender, whom she'd become friends with since being here for a while.

 

“Listen to me sweetie,” the old woman says, “life's tough, and I know that a man is why you're drinking” she adds.

 

“But, from what I've seen in your eyes from the moment you walked in here, tells me you still love him, you want to turn away and hide from him, but it's not really what you want.” She says.

 

“I-I…” she couldn't say anything, she just let her talk.

 

“I know, I may just be some old bartender, but listen to me sweetie,” she says, “I know love when I see it,” she says, “and judging by mister in the corner, he feels the same” 

 

She looks around, her eyes finding those emerald green ones she learned to hate, or tried. 

 

She shakes her head, “no way.. he told me we were done... he doesn't love me” she states, although her voice falters as she thinks about everything.

 

The bartender chuckles and nods gently, sliding her a drink again, before she walks away, helping other guests, her eyes wander back towards Dean, the buzz of the alcohol hitting her as she eyes him.

 

She stands up, walking over to him as she works up the courage.

 

Dean watches her walk up, hope filling his eyes until his face is feeling a sting. 

 

“I… I deserve that,” he says looking up at her, she shakes her head, glaring at him.

 

She sits down, chewing at her lip and playing with her fingers, 

 

“Y/n/n listen I..” she cuts him off.

 

“Don't... I knew from the beginning you wouldn't wanna be with me Dean, but I.. I still made the decision to be with you” she whimpers

 

He frowns, going to say something else, but she stands up, “you know what.. fuck you Dean, all because you couldn't say I love you, you dumped me! And I... I just started to forget everything, forget you” she says,

 

“I love you Dean.. well, loved you! You.. you broke me you asshole” she says before she splashes her drink in his face and storming out.

 

He quickly stands up and follows her. 

 

“Don't follow me Dean” she growls.

 

He shakes his head, looking at her, he can feel the tears filling his eyes as he chews his lip as he watches her.

 

“You don't understand Y/n!  **I don't do I love you** , okay? I never have and I never will, but God woman! You know I care about you okay? You.. you mean everything to me,” he starts, she turns around, facing him.

 

She shakes her head, “don't.. don't tell me you actually care Dean! Because if you did, you wouldn't have broken my heart that night! You would have been honest with me, instead of breaking my heart, you knew how I felt Dean! And you know how I get.. I've b-been hurt before and you.. you knew that'’ she whimpers

 

He nods, “I-I know.. and I'm sorry, believe me, Y/n, believe me” he whispers, not trusting his voice, she shakes her head before turning again. 

 

“we're done Dean,” she whispered, not looking back at him as she climbs into her car, she pulls away and he can't help as he falls to the ground.

 

Dean walks back into the bar, shaking his head, once again, losing the woman he loved. He sits at the bar, ordering shot after shot.

 

Sam found Dean, drunk out of his mind as he pulls his brother from the bar, “come on, let's get you to a shower, and a bed. Let you sleep this off” he states.

 

_ Next Morning _

 

Dean groans as he lays in bed, “son of a bitch” 

 

Sam chuckles, “you know what would go really good?” He asks, “a greasy pork sandwich with cigarette ash” he grins, making Dean stand up and run to the bathroom.

 

Sam laughs louder, throwing his head back as he drinks his water, “this is why you shouldn't have followed her” he states.

 

“Sam… just shut up” he states, he stands up, cleaning his face, and brushing his teeth.

 

“I followed her because… because I miss.. I miss her” he says, looking at his hands, he shakes his head.

 

“I.. I can't keep not being near her, Sam! I can't…” Sam chuckles making Dean glare back at him, “what's so funny?”

 

“You pushed her away Dean, you broke up with her, and now you're admitting you love her, you miss her, you're pathetic” he says, shaking his head. “Dean, you realize it's been 5 years since she left us, 5 years before you made her leave us” he says.

 

Dean just looks at him, before he looks down, “i know Sam. I know I did, and I'll get her back.”


	2. Part 2

_“You pushed her away Dean, you broke up with her, and now you’re admitting you love her, you miss her, you’re pathetic” he says, shaking his head. “Dean, you realize it’s been 5 years since she left us, 5 years before you made her leave us” he says._

 

_Dean just looks at him, before he looks down, “I know Sam. I know I did, and I’ll get her back.”_

* * *

She moves, turning to turn her music on, frowning then the song Why Ya Wanna By Jana Kramer starts playing, “oh great.. even the music” she groans.

Y/n went to work that morning, her eyes were puffy, her makeup a mess, and her hair even messier. She growls getting out of bed, “come on y/l/n.. he’s an ass and you hate him” she says softly, looking at herself in the mirror. “He didn’t look for you for five years. He broke you heart, all because he couldn’t say I love you” she says.

She starts getting dressed listening to the song. She chewed her lip and thinks, “ ** _out of all of the places, in this little town, yeah you had to come walking in here and sit down… I’m hiding and hoping, my face ain’t too red since we’ve been over been trying like crazy to get you out a my head..._**

_**So oh.. why ya wanna show up in an old t-shirt that I love, why ya gotta tell me that I’m looking good don't know why, you were thinking, you were doing moving in for a heart like ya don't know I’m coming unglued. Why you gotta, why ya wanna make me keep wanting you**_ ” she sings along. She shakes her head, biting her lip as she thinks, she removes her make up, before she hops in the shower, washing the heartbreak off yesterday off.

“He’s already left town, just like you’ll do”

“He really had left town, no way in hell is he still he, he’s a Winchester.. they only care for family”

“Wasn’t I-I family?”

“Stop it.. he’s gone... again, just forget again”

She spoke her head, sitting down in the tub as the water washes over her, shivering and shaking she cries.

“I wasn’t family... I’m not blood either”

She never heard the door to her motel open, nor the knock on the bathroom door. But she did hear.

“Is that really what you think?”

She jumps, grabbing a towel, quickly wrapping herself around in it.

“What're… why are you here?” She stutters, he shakes his head, “Is that really what you think?” He questioned again.

She shakes her head, “get out Dean” she all but whispers, “no, damn it, please talk to me. Is that really what you think?” He questioned again, this time more umph in his voice.

“Yea...  Because you always said you’d be there for me Dean, but you weren't… were you? Where were you?” She asks, her voice cracking.

“Oh don’t start with me…” he says, “I was there–”

She laughs half-heartedly, shaking her head, “no you weren’t! You kicked me out, told me we were done Dean” she says. A new song started playing, Wasting All These Tears By Cassadee Pope.

She listens to the music, shaking her head. “Get out Dean… please just let me move on” she cries.

He stops, she hasn’t moved on yet, that’s a good sign, he needed to try. “Y/n/n please” he whispers, stepping closer, his own tears filling his eyes “please”

She shakes her head, moving to step out of the bathroom, he stops, time freezes as he looks down, “what.. your.. damn it!” He growls, he shakes his head, holding her arm gently. The scars have been added too, ones he knows what happened.

“I did… I made... oh god,” he whispers. Y/n pulls her arm away quickly, “get the fuck out of my room!” She yells, he shakes his head, “I’m not leaving you!”

She goes to push him, but he holds her back, shaking his head, “stop it” he says.

She shakes her head, “you stop. You didn’t even fight for me! You just pushed me away, I thought… I thought you were different!”

“I am different! I care about you! I miss you! I miss my best friend” he yells back. “I’m not going anywhere,” he says softly. “Ever” he adds, holding her tight against him before he slides to the floor. Both of them surrounded by the sounds of tears and the music.

 

_An Hour Later_

 

She pulls away, shivering “i... I need a drink” she spoke quietly, but trusting her voice, “a-and I need to get dressed” she adds.

He stands up, helping her stand up, “I’ve got Jack in my car... you get dressed I’ll be back,” he says. She nods, still standing there.

He walks out, leaving her be for a few moments, quickly grabbing the whiskey from the trunk, and going back in, finding her on the bed, in a giant shirt that.. that was his.

“I can’t keep kissing strangers pretending they’re you Dean..” she said slowly, “I can’t keep pretending that every night, I’ll crawl into our… your bed back at the bunker” she says.

“I’m broken… I’m just a vessel than when I was with you” that sentence broke him. He slides over the whiskey and she opens it, chugging from it quickly.

He watches from the couch, giving her space as she talks.

“Wanna know what’s even worse?” She questions, looking over at him, through her lashes, he could see the years of hurt. “The worst of it… is that seeing you? Makes me wanna jump right back in” she says.

“But I’m stronger than that… I’m stronger than just running back to you.. at least that’s what I’m telling myself” she says, she takes another chug, this time it was worth 5 shots.

He frowns, “Hey.. hey give me that,” he says, quickly going over and taking the bottle. He puts the cap back on and sets it next to him on the ground.

“I wanted to stop loving you.. but it’s those damn green eyes. Those perfect emerald eyes..” she spoke, “you don’t understand… I’ll never stop loving you, no matter what I do”

He sees her wheels turning, before he speaks softly, “I did search for you... I thought you’d go to Jody’s, so I went there, she didn’t see you. Went to Donna’s, no sign. Garth’s: nope..  you weren’t anywhere” he says.

“Letting you go... letting you go was the hardest thing I’ve had to do” he spoke with a soft voice.

Her next question makes him freeze, snapping his head up to look her in the eyes, why couldn’t you love me back?” He shakes his head...

“Seriously?” He growled before he took a deep breathe, “I fucking loved you more than anything” he spoke, saying that word. “I’d travel to hell and back, just to tell everyone how I felt”

“I couldn’t tell you back then because I was fucking terrified! You were the one person who gave a shit about me.”

“Can’t you see... I’m poison, people get close to me they get killed.. or worse. I couldn’t let that happen to you!”

She scoffs, the whiskey hitting her head, giving her the push she needed.

“Fuck you, Winchester. You don’t get to do that. Not now! Not while I’m drinking. Not while we’re both crying” her voice was raised, the tears starting to fall again.

“I can’t believe you… It won’t matter what I try” she whispers, “but I will. In my head, those words will live on, because I still fucking love you because I’m a–” he rushes forward, crashing his lips into hers.

It was heated, full of sadness, regret, mostly love. Tears fell from both sets of eyes, both of them clawing at the other.

He pulled away first, his forehead resting on hers, “then lets sleep.. sober up, calm down. And talk” he says, he pulled away. Grabbing the Jack, and his jacket, walking to the door.

A small voice stops him as his hand hovers over the doorknob, “please stay…” she whispers.

He nods, he walks over, sitting down, he takes his shoes off, then his shirts, and his jeans next, before he pulls the blankets back, covering her up, then himself and facing her, running his fingers through her hair.

“Sleep” he spoke softly.

 


	3. Part 3

_A small voice stops him as his hand hovers over the doorknob, “please stay…” she whispers._

* * *

 

Y/n woke the next morning, feeling heat next to her, she quickly remembers what had happened the night before, she looks over at Dean, his emerald eyes already focused on her. She sticks her tongue out, wetting her bottom lip as she thinks, she shakes her head gently, “I.. um” she stands quickly and goes to the bathroom.

Dean lays there, he watches the bathroom door, shaking his head lightly, he sits up, chewing at his lip. Trying to think of what to say to her when she gets out.

Y/n looks in the mirror, shaking her head she takes deep breaths, biting at her lip gently, “you asked.. you asked him to stay, you can’t ignore him” she whispers, “you need to talk to him, you owe it to him.. and yourself.. closer” she whispers again, shaking her head, “you need closer t-too.. too move on.”

He stands outside the door, listening to her, he shakes his head, quickly getting his shoes on, he writes ‘sorry’ on a piece of paper and quickly leaves, tears filling his eyes. He gets in the impala and drives off.

She opens the door and walks out, her heart dropping as she realized he was gone, she quickly runs for the door and throws opens it.

“Great! Leaving again!” She yells into nothing, tears filling her eyes she walks back in, slamming the door behind her.

She paces her room, “he.. he wanted to talk. Said we would in the morning” she says softly, she shakes her head as she slides down the mattress, her back leaning against it.

 

_A few days later_

 

She felt numb, just like after she left the first time, but this time he did it. Her mind on Dean and them, everything that’s happened, that she didn’t notice that someone was currently unlocking her door.

 

**_Sam’s POV_ **

 

Sam glared at a drunken Dean, “you’re an idiot! Come on Dean again?” He asks.

Dean glares, “she wants to get over me! She needs ‘closer’ Sammy” he growled, “what closer could she fucking need” he slurred out.

Sam walked out, slamming the door, he had enough of this. He makes his way to her motel, picking the lock on her door once she got there, his heart stopped, “dammit!” he yells, he picks her up, running out to the car.

He drives to the hospital, his mind thinking about a bunch of things that could have happened, worse case scenarios first.

He gets there, quickly getting her in and in surgery. He started debating with himself, before he picks his phone up, calling Dean.

“The hell do you want Sam?” A growling voice asks

“What do I want?” He half asks, “what I want, is for you to sober the hell up and get to the damn hospital if you care about Y/n at all Dean. Someone got her, doesn’t look like…” his voice cracks, wavering as he sits down, “doesn’t look like she fought them off either.”

Dean’s never sobered up so fast, grabbing his jacket and key to the room, before he was out the door.

Running. He ran, towards the hospital, rage, and sadness, fueling him to get there.

“Don’t... God just please do fucking do this” he growled.

Once he got there, he ran in, his eyes searching for Sam, he saw him, the sight broke him, his baby brother had his head in his hands, his left leg going a mile an hour, fidgeting.

“S-Sammy?” He asks, Sam looked up, his eyes bloodshot, a glare covering his face.

“You did this Dean!’ He half raised his voice, but trusting it, “she’s in here. Because of you”

“You don't… you don’t think I know that!” Dean spoke, taking deep breaths, his chest rising and falling quickly. “I left her alone! I know that! I’m not stupid!”

Sam goes to speak but the doctor comes out, Sam glared at Dean, making him stay where he stood.

He stood there before he looked behind the doc, they were wheeling Y/n to a room, he snuck behind them, quickly going to the room.

At that moment, his world crashed. She was broken, cuts over her face, her arms, a gash against her neck, he couldn’t breathe, he didn’t wanna breathe, he quickly sat down.

“Listen to me” he started after he sat there for a while, “I know I’ve been a horrible boyfriend, a horrible friend but God please don’t leave me” his voice waivers, closing his eyes he bites his lip harder to keep from crying.

“I know I’m poison. I know everyone around me dies but please don’t die” he kept talking, Sam stood in the door, listening to Dean, tears filling his own eyes. “Please… please don’t leave. I’m sorry I made you leave,” he spoke, “it was stupid of me and n-now you’re here, in a fucking hospital because of me”

“You don’t deserve me… hell, if I could I’d make you forget” he starts saying before he stops, he looks up before Sam quickly runs in.

“You’re not doing that to her” he growled, “you can’t make her forget like Lisa Dean. She isn’t, and never will be like Lisa” he says.

Dean shakes his head, “I’ll do what I want Sam. She needs to forget about me! It’ll give her the closure she needs” he says, “let me do this, I want her to be happy, I want–”

“Y-you..” a voice croaks, making both boys whip around and look at her, “I-I was happy” she growled, her voice weak, but she didn’t care. “With you Dean. God I was so happy, but t-that d-didn’t matter did it?” she asks.

He shakes his head, “it did matter. But I need you to f-forget about me” he says.

She scoffs, “you don’t get to make that decision Dean.” She states.

“To hell I do. You need the perfect life Y/n” he starts, “the white picket fence, the kids, the dog” he says “the perfect husband who does anything and every-”

“Fucking hell Dean Winchester I want you!” she growled, her voice rising and cracking, “fuck” she whimpered.

“You really think I want anyone else? After all the shit we’ve gone through together?” She asks, she shakes her head, “hell no” she spoke.

“You think that just because you fuck up, means you don’t deserve anything. But that’s a fucking joke, you deserve the world just as much as I do. You deserve a family, besides me and Sammy. And if I’m not that woman, then just fucking tell me! Stop dragging me on an-” she didn’t have time to continue, Dean took three quick steps across the room, crashing his lips against hers.

She couldn’t move, her mind went blank, she almost forgot how to breathe, or do anything for that matter, before she started kissing him back. She felt tears fall on her cheeks, but she wasn’t crying, at least not enough for falling tears.

Dean pulled away first, tears filled his eyes, that’s where the tears came from, she thought.

“Don’t. Don’t think that you’re not the woman for me.” He says, his forehead pressed against hers, “and.. and don’t tell me what to do or what I deserve please” he says.

She shakes her head, “you really think so lowly of yourself Dean?” She spoke quietly, he nods, making her whimper

“God Dean.. all I wanna do is make you think more of yourself” she whispered, “I want you to see the man that I do. Wanna know what I see?” She asks, he shrugs, sitting up.

“I see a man that has been through nothing but hurt and pain, but he’s strong because of it, I see a man who helped raise his baby brother into the man he is today. I see a man who loves more than he lets on, I see a man who will rather drag himself to save his family” she says, “I see a man who would rather fight everyone’s battles for them, but leave his to be lit on fire”

He shakes his head, looking down, “you need to forget about me though” he spoke, making her shake her head,

“no. And don’t make me, please. Damn it, Dean, I love you” she spoke, “please don’t do this to me again” she spoke, “I couldn’t... I couldn’t do it last time” she says, “and I.. I won’t do it again this time,” she said, glaring at him, or trying to.

Tears fell down both faces as they sat in silence, both not knowing what to say and they sat.

“you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me Y/n” his voice broke the silence, “and I.. I don’t want to hurt you anymore” he spoke quietly, not trusting his voice in the moment, “but you can’t stay... I’m too broken Y/n/n”

“Dean... I want to stay. I want to be with you, but I need you to want me to stay. I need you to want me…” she says, looking at her hands, she tries to fight back more tears.

He shakes his head, standing up, looking back at her, a frown on her face as she watches him walk to the door.

“I swear to God Dean… y-you walk” she couldn’t breathe, “you walk o-out that-that door,” she says, her heart racing as she watched him, she couldn’t breathe, she couldn’t see, all she saw was tears… then the door closed shut.

“D-dean?” She cried out.


	4. Part 4

_“I swear to God Dean… y-you walk” she couldn’t breathe, “you walk o-out that-that door,” she says, her heart racing as she watched him, she couldn’t breathe, she couldn’t see, all she saw was tears… then the door closed shut. **  
**_

_“D-dean?” She cried out._

* * *

 

She finally cleared her eyes, wiping the tears away, her heart was racing as she tried to find the nerve to look up. She couldn’t hear anyone else in the room.

She shakes her head, looking at the machines she’s hooked up too, she starts pulling everything off, “I knew it… I-I knew I shouldn’t have believed anything he said..”

“Are you naturally this much of a pain, or do you try?” a voice asks, making her jump.

She looks up, her y/e/c eyes meeting his emerald green ones, she scoffs, biting her lip.

“I-I thought you left,” she says lightly, shaking her head.

Now was his turn to scoff, “you seriously thought I’d leave?” She nodded softly, looking at him, “yeah… That’s what you do Dean… it’s what you did this morning, what you’re gonna do any second” she spoke in a whisper.

He shakes his head, sitting down on the couch in her room.

“Why didn’t you fight?” he questioned, looking her over with a frown.

“You fight back all the time, why stop now?” He asks again.

She shakes her head, “you don’t care, nobody cares, just leave Dean” she spoke in a hushed tone.

“You’re my friend! Of course, I care!” he growls, standing up and going to her, running a hand through his hair before he starts pacing in the room, “dammit, of course, I care Y/N, that’s why I had to break-up with you… I didn’t want too, god I didn’t want too, please believe me” he looks over at her.

“That’s not true, and you know it,” she says, she growls, getting up off the bed, before she moves, “just decide Dean, because it’s hard, so either come closer or stay away, having you in between is very exhausting”

He looks back at her, a frown on his face as he hears her say this, she refused to look at him as she walked to the bathroom.

“I’m going out, but you better be here when I get back Y/N/N” he states before he walks out...

She came back out, shaking her head she starts getting dressed if there was something else she hated more than Djinns… it was hospitals.

A few minutes later, the door opens and Dean’s standing there, flowers in hand with some chocolates, she scoffs, and he shakes his head.

“Please…” he starts, “you know I’m not one for romance, but I am one for half-price chocolates so… here we are” he finishes.

She raises a brow, biting her lip gently, before she stands up, “just get me away from here, please… that’s all I’m saying right now”

He nods and moves to start walking beside her, “let’s get you checked out, then I’m gonna start talking when we get to the car, and you’re gonna listen” He told her as they walked through the hospital, she only nodded and started walking faster ahead of him.

They get he checked out, and we’re driving for the motel, at least that’s what she thought.

“Sammy has all your stuff back at the bunker, you’re coming h-”

“Don’t you dare say home, that hasn’t been my home in 5 years, Winchester, because you kicked me out, and sent me away” she mutters, interrupting him.

He shakes his head, a frown appearing on his face, “listen… There was a reason I did that okay? Everything I did, or do now, is to protect you and Sam, so just stay quiet and let me talk please.”

He takes a deep breath, glancing over at Y/N, getting a small nod, and then he starts.

“You deserve so much better than me” He spoke with a soft voice, “I pushed you away, made you leave because you deserve so much more than me, you deserve the world, and I know I said that earlier because it’s true.”

“You need someone who can give you the white picket fence, the kids, the steady income, the house” His grip on the steering wheel got tighter with each word that he has spoken “I can’t give you any of that Y/n, I want you… I need you to leave this life and continue living life like a normal person-”

“Shut. Up.” She growled, he flinched, not even meaning too, “You don’t get to tell me how to live my life! You know what I wanted, those 5 years ago, you knew I only want you, I don’t care about a family Dean, I have you and… had you and Sam, that was perfect for me.”

“You don’t get a choice on what I do in my life, do you understand?” He nodded softly, letting her know that he understood.

“I never stopped loving you Dean.. and I’ll… I’ll never stop” she spoke, “and it’s not like I could have, everything reminded me of you…” she started but he cut her off.

“Every song I heard, ever time I heard the starting point of Wanted Dead Or Alive, I had to skip it quickly. I can’t sleep at night, because I was so used to listening to your little snores” He says, looking over at her, he had pulled off the road and was now facing her, biting at his lip.

She shook her head lightly, looking down at her hands, “my mind was in a dark place after Dean… and god no matter what, I always wished you were there until I remembered you were the one that put me there” she spoke.

“I know that, and I’m gonna do what I can to make up for that Y/n/n, I hate that I pushed you away, I hate myself for what I’ve done to you” He says, moving and making her look up at him, his emerald eyes watery with tears, “I know that you’ll never forgive me for what I did, and I don’t forgive myself and I never will, but god..”

He stops talking for a moment, chewing at his lip, his eyes never leaving hers, “I love you more than anything, and I want to be with you…”

She shook her head gently, biting her lip before she whispered, “you gotta stop doing that”

“What?” he asks confusion written on his face.

“Saying things that make me wanna kiss you,” she said, his eyes go wide at her comment.

She looked back down at her hands, shaking her head, “when did we stop driving?” she asks, realizing what had happened.

“I pulled over once you started talking because I wanted to look at you while you talked,” He says, smiling softly, “and I’m glad I did because I’m gonna do something right now… please don’t punch me when I do it” he spoke, making her look up at him again.

He slowly closed the distance between them, closing his eyes as his lips brushed against her soft ones, they both let out shaky breathes before he feels her close the distance between them.

Dean couldn’t think, he only felt her soft lips against his, his heart thumping against his chest as he pulled her closer against him.

Y/n felt his rough lips and couldn’t breathe, she never wanted to pull away, but she did, resting her forehead against his, her eyes not yet opened as they both took deep breaths.

“God I’ve missed you” his hoarse voice broke the silence, both of them looking up, their eyes meet and they quickly pull each other back into a kiss.

During the kiss, tears fall onto the other’s cheeks as they soon pull away again, “please come home… I need–”

“Yes… but I… I need my own room for a while Dean, we have… We can’t start from w-where we left off” She stuttered.


	5. Part 5

_“Yes… but I… I need my own room for a while Dean, we have… We can’t start from w-where we left off" she stuttered._

* * *

 

Dean looked at Y/n, nodding softly, “I… I understand, "you… Um, can have your old room, from before, most of the stuff is still in there” he said softly.

Y/n smiles softly, nodding before she looks up, “we should hurry, looks like there’s a storm brewing Dean” she spoke, nodding towards the dark clouds making their way towards them.

Dean nodded, and slide back in the driver seat, he pulls back onto the road and started driving back for the bunker.

**_Meanwhile back at the Bunker_ **

Cas looked at Sam, “he’s really bringing her back? Like, really?” He asked, making Sam nod.

“Yes, for the 50th time Cas, she’s coming back, but not to be with Dean… it’s gonna take a while for that” he told the Angel.

Cas nodded, “you sure she’s okay to help with Jack?’” He asked.

Sam nods, “yes, she might not leave his side once she finds out…” he says, “you know hows she felt about Jack since he’s been with us… but we haven’t talked to her about it yet, so don’t bring it up,” he says.

He moves and finishes putting food away in the kitchen, thinking about anything else he could do.

Soon he heard the sound of baby pulling into the garage, he goes and checks Y/n’s room,  making sure sheets were okay, as well as the dust not bad before he walked and met them in the kitchen.

“Hey Y/n” he smiled at her. She smiles softly and moves to hug him

“Hiya Sammy” she grins, he smiles more and wraps her into a big hug.

Sam smiles, just holding her for a moment, “if he does that again. I’m kicking him out, he can find somewhere to say” he whispered to her.

Y/n shakes her head, “nope. Dean and I are on good terms, friends, Sammy” she spoke, “he does something again, I’m not returning, ever, and it’ll be harder to find me” she states.

Dean wraps an arm around her waist, “I’ll be good, I promise,” he states, smiling at Y/n and Sam. She leans into his touch, a habit she hadn’t forgotten from those years of being away from him.

He couldn’t help his own grin cover his face, feeling her move closer to him, “let’s get you to bed, we have a long day ahead of us tomorrow” he says before he leads Y/n to her room.

He stands outside her door with her, biting his cheek gently, “I’ll.. you know where my room is if you need anything,” he says, she nodded, “thanks D” she spoke gently, before she opened the door, and made her way into her room.

**_Next Morning_ **

Dean was the first one awake, he wanted to make her breakfast, her favorite breakfast to be exact. Waffles, eggs, and bacon, with coffee already made, she just needed to mix it up, he would, but he didn’t know when she'd…

“Dean?” Came her sleepy voice, he turned, his heart-stopping when he saw her, she had knee-high socks, an old band shirt, and her hair was up in a messy bun. That image would be burned into his mind forever, he loved how cozy she looked in the mornings.

“Morning, sleeping beauty” he grins, handing her the coffee he had made for her, “made you coffee, and I’m just finished breakfast now,” he says with a smile.

She sips her coffee, hopping up onto the counter across from him, yawning slightly, she lets out a soft moan as she coffee slides down her throat, he clenched his jaw, before looking at her.

“You didn’t have to do this” she spoke, looking at him.

He shakes his head, “when was the last time you have a homemade meal?” He asked when she didn’t answer, he nodded, “exactly, especially my waffles” he grinned.

She couldn’t help her little chuckle that slipped past her lips, “5 years to be exact” she hummed, looking at him.

He nods, “exactly, so let me make you breakfast,” he says.

Sam walks in, ruining their cute moment and making Dean turn back around in a grump mode.

Sam smiles and hugs Y/n before he grabs his own cup of coffee, “morning you two” he says with a smile before he sips on his coffee.

Y/n smiles, “morning Sammy” she smiles, then tilts her head, before she grins and jumps down, “Jack!” She grinned, she ran and hugged the boy, but she noticed something off.

“What's… what’s happening?” She asked, turning and looking at the boys, before looking at Jack, he didn’t look good, “What. Is. Happening.” She growls, making all three men, and child flinch.

“Lucifer took my grace” Jack whispered, Y/n looked back at him, “excuse me,” she says.

Dean nods, “Jack doesn’t have any grace in him. And it’s killing him Y/n/n” he whispered, she growls, before she walks away, “hey! Where are you going?” He chases after her.

“I’m going to go kill that son of a bitch, he took his own son’s grace! And now he’s dying! Jack is dying, you don’t understand that do you!” Tears filled her eyes, she’s always had a great bond with the manchild since he’s come into her life.

“J-Jack is dying!” She growls, “he’s dying and Lucifer is gonna pay for what he did!’ She growls, ripping her arm away from Dean, and charging for the front door.

"You don’t think I know that? That we know that” he yells, walking after her. “We care about him too! You get that right?” He asked, “don’t act like you care more about him than we do”

“You’ve hated him since he was born! Since when do you care?” She asked, turning and facing him.

He scoffed, “since you left! He was the closest thing I had to you!” That comment made her stop, and freeze.

“Yeah, I’ve cared about him since you left, because he was all I had left of you,” he spoke.

She didn’t say anything, and just stood there, she chewed at her lip for a moment, before she turned and shook her head, “I’m still going after him.” She states.

“Y/n/n sweetie, we’ve tried. We can’t find him” he spoke with a softer voice, walking behind her, “come on… let’s just go, he’s missed you,” he spoke, “we all have.”

She let him grab her wrist, and lead her back to the room, she frowned. Looking at Jack she hugged him again, “I’m so sorry I left you” she whispered.

“You’re home now, it doesn’t matter Y/n” he spoke, looking at her, “that’s all that matters, that you’re home and can help us” he spoke.


	6. Last Part

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The last and final section of I Don't Do, I Love You.

_“You’re home now, it doesn’t matter Y/n” he spoke, looking at her, “that’s all that matters, that you’re home and can help us” he spoke._

* * *

 

Y/n smiles, thank you, young boy, close to her, “speaking of helping… I’m going to kill Lucifer.” She states, “that asshole needs to learn to leave my family alone. Does he not ever learn?”

Dean chuckled, shaking his head, “Y/n, sweetie, he doesn’t, but everyone who comes after us never learns” he says.

She rolls her eyes, glaring at him for a split second before she moves to sit down. She starts thinking, feeling eyes on her she looks up, meeting emerald green ones. “Dean…” she whined. “I’m not leaving. You can look away from me”

“I.. Sorry,” he says quickly, moving and grabbing a beer from the fridge.

Sam couldn’t stop his laugh, his brother was like a lovesick puppy, something he never thought he’d see in this lifetime.

Jack watched, his eyes now focused on Dean, “you can’t date her” he states, making Dean quickly look at the boy.

“What?” He asked, sitting straight in his seat, now confused on what the kid met, and why it even mattered to him.

“I said, you can’t date her. You broke her heart, made her leave us last time, it’s not fair to us if she leaves us again.” He states, “we care about her too Dean. Not just you,” he added.

Y/n watches Dean, biting her cheek gently, “Jack, sweetie, it’s okay” she says softly. “Dean and I have talked it out, and we’re not gonna start dating till we’ve talked more about how we feel alright?” She spoke, her voice was soft and warm,

Still looking at Dean, the boy nodded and then glared for a second then looked at Y/n, “that also means no more glaring at the poor guy”

“Alright, our plan of attack” he states, making Y/n nod. She started talking, getting into the conversation quickly.

                                                **Dean’s POV.**

He had stopped listening to the plan and was just watching Y/n, he loved how much she cared for the boy. She was the reason he even agreed on letting him stay alive, she always saw the best in people, that’s one of the reasons he fell so damn hard for her. That, and she always told people when they fucked up.

Like the night after a really bad hunt, they were hunting a wendigo and haven’t found it yet, so he went to drink. Sam had come to get him, saying they had figured out where the wendigo was, sending his latest bed bunny away for the night. He got pissed and pushes him, that’s when she stepped in.

_She shook her head as she helped Sam up, “Dean, seriously?” She growls, “you’re drunk and you’re being an ass, just go find some stupid whore and leave us alone… come on Sammy” she leads him away._

_He growls, “I’m being an ass?” He started, making Sam shakes his head and mutters something before he continued walking away leaving Y/n. She stopped walking, not looking at him as she looked at her feet, then stood straighter._

_“You are an ass, especially when you drink, and lose you lay of the night, Winchester. I’m sorry that we’re in the middle of a hunt, but we matter too…”_

_She shakes her head, turning around and looking at Dean, “you are an ass, and it hurts not only Sam but myself. What I really wanna know is why? Why are you being an ass, because I know it’s not about that bitch ” she spoke, her voice almost sobering him up, but her calling him an ass made it worse by far._

_“You wanna know why?” He asked, “wanna know why I’m being a drunk asshole?”_

_“I never called you an asshole, just an ass” she states, making him laugh loudly._

_He rolled his eyes, “it all means the same coming from you” he growls. “Why are you still hanging around us, me, most importantly, why are you still hanging around me?” He asked._

_She scoffs, glaring at him, “maybe it’s because I care for the both of you, did you ever think that? That maybe, just maybe, someone wants to be near you both because they care?” She asked._

_“Because fuck Dean, I care about you, I care about Sammy. Maybe… Fuck and I’m stupid for admitting this because you’re drunk, but fuck I’m still here because I like you, but fuck you, Dean. Because why does anybody else’s feelings matter besides yours!”_

_That comment made deans heart stop, he was drunk, he’d admit that, but hearing those three words, come from her mouth, fuck that broke him._

_He moved forward quickly, crashing his lips against hers, his hands moving to her face, holding her cheeks in his hands and kissing her._

_She froze before she kissed him back, but soon pulled away, “you’re drunk Dean… let’s go in, get you some food, and most importantly some water, and we can talk in the morning if you still feel the same way you do now.”_

“Dean? Hey, earth to Deano” he snapped out of his thoughts and looked up, “we’ve come up with a plan of attack” Sam says, shaking his head at his older brother.

Dean nods, “oh, alright sorry… I kind of zoned out” he chuckles. Sam grins, knowing what he zoned on, he zoned looking at Y/n. The way he had learned the two were saying in the first place.

Y/n shakes her head lightly, “alright, let’s just get packed up and go kill this son of a bitch” she says standing up and walks out to the car.

The whole car ride there Dean couldn’t keep his eyes off of Y/n, that was until she turned to him, “what’s on your mind Dean?”

He quickly shook his head, “oh.. I ugh… Nothing” he says, but the look she gives him makes him talk, “I was thinking about that night. The night we kissed for the first time” he says.

She shakes her head, biting her lip as she looked ahead of them, “Dean…” she says softly.

“Listen I know, okay? I’m sorry but I can’t help but think about the day after, God I was so happy, I let Sammy drive home that day just so I could hold you”

She quickly left the car, not wanting to talk it over with him yet. He frowned, quickly getting out of the truck and following her. Until all hell broke loose and the war had begun.

                           ** _Month’s later_**

Sam shakes his head, laughing as Dean shares a story. It’s been months since Y/n has been back to the bunker, everything was going smoothly, Michael was gone, Lucifer was dead. Jack learned how to use his powers correctly.

Dean laughs, his head is thrown back as he does. “That’s so not how it happened” he laughs.

“Oh bull shit, you told me that you’d wish someone chick in a Zorro mask would slap you,” Sam says sending Y/N into a laughing fit.

“Okay, no fucking way” she laughs, looking at Dean, her brows raised. They had slowly worked up to everything. Even been on a few dates, but it was slow, just like he had promised her.

She shakes her head, smiling more. “Alright, I’m going to go to bed,” she says softly, standing up she starts to move to her room, but Dean quickly stands, following her.

“Hey, Y/n/n?” He asked, making her stop and turn, facing him, her Y/e/c meet his green ones and he melts, but shakes his head, he was on a mission. “Will… before you go to bed, will you come with me somewhere really fast?’ He asked.

She tilted her head in confusion, "why couldn’t Sam go with y–”

“Y/n just go with him.” Sam calls from the kitchen making the woman nodded, “okay okay, let’s go” she says and follows Dean out to the car.

He opens her door for her, letting her in. “Before we get to driving… Do you trust me?” He asked gently.

She raised a brow at him, before nodding softly, “I trust you, but right now I’m really praying you’re not gonna kill me” she says softly, making him laugh as he blindfolds her, “leave that in while I drive, don’t take it off till I tell you”

Soon he had gotten in the car, he started the engine, first letting baby startup, listening to her purr.

“God I really did miss this car” she spoke, he looked over and smiles before looking in the backseat, he was surprising her and he felt like tonight was the night.

After about an hour drive, and a bumpy ass road, Dean starts leading her to a spot. After a few moments, he finally grins, nodding softly he looks at her, “Take it off” he says.

She quickly removes the blindfold, and her heart almost stops. In front, if she was a blanket with a half tent covering it, hanging from two trees. Two beers and some pie in the middle with some pillows and a blanket.

Her eyes fell on Dean, who was nervously playing with his fingers.

“Listen… I know I haven’t been the best guy to be around, and hell, I’ve been a bad boyfriend to you before. And I understand if you don’t want to be with me” he says.

“But God, I can’t live without you” his voice was going quieter as he talked, he wouldn’t look at her. “I lost you once, and I’ll be damned if I do again. I miss having you in my arms, I miss waking up and watching you sleep” he spoke. “I miss everything about you Y/n/n,” he says. He looks up, and he froze, her Y/e/c eyes were glazed over, making him quickly move, wrapping his arms around her.

“I love you Y/n… and I have since that first day we met. Please be mine again” this time his voice cracked, making her whimper in his arms.

She pulled away, her eyes meeting his once again as she nodded, “you make me leave again.. You won’t be able to find me” she spoke making him crash his lips into hers roughly.

She let out a soft gasp, pulling him closer as she wrapped her arms around his neck. His hands slid down to her ass, pulling her up, and wrapping her legs around his waist.

He walked to the blanket, kneeling down he set her on the blankets, looking down at her, before he hovered over her, kissing her again, this time he poured everything into the kiss, making the tears fall down both their eyes quickly.

After a while, he pulled away, resting his forehead against hers, before he moved and laid down beside her, looking up at the stars, his heart was still racing, he was happy with the way this had ended.

**“I now do, I love you” he whispered.**

##  **_The End…_ **


End file.
